Trophy Years

Last weekend I wrapped up my last high school competition season with DNA. In ways I was shaken by the fact that it was my last... and bitter-sweetness became me as I reflected on the previous eight years of competing on different stages and how each one had its meaning as did the past four years of books and people who have contributed to who I am.

Part of me felt like the player who puts the towel over his head to veil his tears while exiting the court as his high school career comes to a close. Videos, pictures, medals and trophies lay left as it leaves. And what seems like a very large window is being shut and the curtains rise and fall to the wood of the floors one last time on these stages that I move on – these stages of my life.

I graduate in just a few weeks and have showcases to finish up with and then I plan on auditioning for Cruise Ships this summer and hopefully sign for 4-6 months. So obviously, I’m not planning on going to college right away and it was probably one of the most sought out decisions I’ve ever had to make… but it was very clear to me that this is what I need to do. I want to start making my way into the professional dance world… and if I’m a starving artist, then I’m a starving artist at least doing what I love – doing what makes me come alive.

Am I scared? Well, hell yeah I’m scared.
But I think that’s one of the reasons why I know its right.
These stages are as scary as it gets and I believe they should be.
I think we all NEED experiences that knock us off center… otherwise we’re not living. Sometimes you find those off-center experiences in places, sometimes in passions, or in people. I have gotten to partake in many and have found those experiences in all three and I want to keep finding them – keep expanding them.

I’m excited about this next phase of my life. I’m anxious to see more of the world and to keep learning, keep in-taking in order to give back.
So, goodbye trophy years… hello un-idealistic career.

Trading Comfort For Calling

I believe in you...

Even over the longest distance.

somewhere i have never travelled

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most trail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if you wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

E.E. Cummings

Two Paths. I Go Down The Middle.

Something beautiful is taking place inside of me. It is almost as if a gentle hand has placed a blanket of hope around my shoulders, tender lips kissing my cheek with an unquenchable love, and I am drinking a bottomless mug full of indescribable peace and joy. I'm facing some physical strains, but I am so very energized by what it is giving back to me and what God is giving me... what He has already given me. There are doors opening and I'm beginning to walk through them.

There seems to always be two paths... and I'm still going down the middle.



"Everyone tells you what to do and whats good for you. They don't want you to find your own answers, they want you to believe theirs. I want you to stop gathering information from outside yourself and start gathering it from the inside. People are afraid of whats inside, and thats the only place their ever going to find what they need. Why can't you sleep? Is it because, maybe late at night when all the noise dies down and you're laying there in bed and theres nobody around but you, then maybe you begin to get a little scared. Scared because everything you suddenly feel is so empty. You tell me you wanna be more than just someone who gets up on those rings and performs a well practice stunt or two. You tell me you wanna be someone who uses his mind and his body in ways that most people would never have the courage to."
-Peaceful Warrior