The Ingenuity of Dreams

This is the part where I discovered one of my major failings in both life and art. It’s over thinking things. It’s over analyzing to the point of paralyzing my mind to make any relevant decisions at all. But when it comes right down to it, I know how to separate what matters from what doesn’t. And that separation usually flouts out on paper.

Yesterday was the day where I learned that it’s okay to have more than one dream. God gives many many dreams. To have multiple passions expands the story’s you are able to communicate through your ultimate passion. And as soon as I decided I believed that, I almost felt a ray of emptiness because I didn’t know where my other interests rooted.
But He didn't fail to show me them. He faithfully handed them to me with a bundle of faith.

There are many choices to weigh my options with right now.
I became so overwhelmed, that I spent a majority of my night on the bathroom floor. How is it that I can gain serenity on a dirty bathroom floor in the middle of the night?
Because I knew it would pass. I knew that the color would appear back in my face and that my stomach would settle and start to function the way that it was made to function.
I didn’t know how long that would be… but I knew just like everything, it would pass.

I don’t where I will go to college. I don’t know if I will end up studying dance or if I will major in psychology at a Christian campus and go on to help artistic teenagers or young children communicate with their parents. Or maybe I will go on to start my own group/program for young artists to show their gifts and communicate it clearly. I want to help children and young teenage girls through eating disorders. I want to communicate to them their worth and potential.
Right now, I have more dreams than ever and I'm allowing myself to explore what compels me.

I know that I have to keep surrendering.
I know that I can rest on His works, not mine.
I know that I want to serve my life with His direction.
I frankly don’t care where that is anymore.

I want to use my body, my hands and imagination to help people discover parts of who they are. I want to be what I am… I want to be the best that I can be so that I can learn use each of my capacities and parts of my personality. I want to contribute by being in my mind when I plan and work it out in my body.

I want to take a lot from teachers of all kinds and absorb their suggestions.

And generate a tremendous variety and depth of material to people who will use it. I want to be used in the way God created me.
It’s a constant journey of sorting, but He equips the called.
People use many excuses to not pursue God’s greatest for them. Peer pressure seems to be the biggest excuse around me. There’s no such thing as peer pressure. If you believe within yourself, there is no peer pressure.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Willamson